Inside the crank handle cavity: some secret intel.

Our serial number is 1255. Who got the first 1,254 units? No idea.

Hopefully they didn't think to take it apart and put it on the internet. Seriously, who would do that?

Answer: someone not intimidated by these donut-shaped flathead screws. Mmm... donuts.

Hang tight while we noodle on a strategy for opening this thing. If we have to eat a dozen donuts in the process, that's a sacrifice we're prepared to make. Will that help? Somehow yes.