Around back, under the many vent holes we find:

Power inlet

HDMI out (left) and in (right)

Two USB 3.0 ports (in addition to the one on the front)

IR output, optical audio, and Ethernet ports

What about my Kinect, you ask? You can apply for a "free" Kinect USB adapter—provided you already own a Kinect, an original Xbox One, and the Xbox One S.

Our first act of teardown: tamper evident sticker removal. But no screws in sight, just the back of an immobile plastic clip. Bummer.