that doesn't sound good (no, thats not a lame joke - lol)
i never had those fancy headphones - can you see any "seam" ?
if there is something to open them - get some isopropyl alcohol (>90%) and a paintbrush (i know you like them much) and clean the contacts & switches.
but since it's an apple product, it would not be that easy to fix, maybe they casted/sealed/glued the thing a few times together.
but there might be another thing - get the "old" ones from ebay - they are cheap (and most likely fakes) - remove the earbuds from the cheap ones and place your in-ear pieces on it.
it would be still a tough job but way cheaper than a pair of (still chinese) headphones for 80 bucks
good luck